I am ... not a swinger

Neither is my wife. We made the decision sometime back that while the two of us love each other, we were both capable of expressing an interest in another person - where that interest could happen to be sexual. If you think about it, most couples do it. Were it not for the mundane crap that we all end up doing, we all fantasize . We all secretly want more. And yet, we will not talk about it, we will not act upon it. Except if we cheat - which it turns out many of us do. Some recent stats I saw on a web site ... Between 45 and 60% of married men and women admit to having some sort of an extra-marital relationship sometime during their marriage. 17% of divorces are caused by infidelity. 90% of Americans feel adultery is morally wrong!! Do these stats make any sense ?

You promise to live your life with another, until you cheat. That is the vow you've taken. Because we can't control our libidos. And yet we like to pretend that fidelity matters. Well.. it doesn't. Not the physical fidelity, definitely. Face it , when you see the same person day in and day out, there is an element of deja-vu. Been there, done that. What is the cure ? Let's have a BABY !! Let's have date night every week like we were teenagers. Let's pretend like we are not bored with each other, because if we pretend we aren't bored, we may forget we are bored.

I claim this is bullshit. In my mind, the important part is to love, respect, protect and stand by your spouse. But I didn't make a promise to not get bored. Nor did she !! We refuse to have kids out of boredom.. We do go on date nights (though we NEVER call it that - Jeez - what a corny concept !!) . When we do go on date nights, we talk about women we think are hot . We talk about men we think are hot ( Actually - while both of us talk about the women, I have not much to say on the topic of men).

So, we've done IT with others. Oh yes, roll your eyes, get that look of disgust going.. And then, if you have the guts, think about it. Seriously. Think about it.

But we are not swingers.